Post by joe on Aug 18, 2005 12:48:36 GMT -5
Instead of the typical "Wrestler Takes A Bunch Of Time Coming Down To The Ring To Talk" thing, we return from the brave sponsors who pay to keep NDP on the air and in the dough to the NDP Ring - inside said ring, we have Flip Staley and Aika Sugiyama... Flip is dressed to wrestle, and has chosen to grave the ring while wearing the "Brainbuster Really Works!" t-shirt! (Available NOW from NDP ShopWhore authorized dealers near you!) Aika, in a dark purple kimono, clinging onto his arm tightly...
He looks very solemn as he stands in the ring, looking over the crowd... before picking up the microphone and pausing before speaking. The crowd is a mixed chorus of boos and cheers, before Flip turns his head down to the ground, looking at his boots.
[Flip Staley:] Yanno... with everybody having something to say... I figured it's time I responded.
I've heard what the people say in the back. "Flip Staley lost his teeth." "All bark, no bite."
A wounded animal, I think I heard once, a stray that needs to be put down.
Flip looks up, scanning over the crowd, showing little emotion.
This little blonde girl started talking crap about me a couple months ago. She started... and continued... and kept going. Soon, she had the gall to start saying how she cost me the NDP Championship. This little blonde girl, apparantly, was Colleen Dramesi.
Flip's emotionless face turns into a wide, devilish grin.
Funny thing, I didn't recognize her without seven guys jacking off on her face.
Crowd whoops and hollers, cheering...
Then, I saw her backstage right after eating a glazed donut, and DAMNED if it didn't all come togethe- oops. Well, pardon my choice of words there.
There are people in NDP calling themselves "THE GREATEST!" Or "THE FUTURE!" or "KING ACE JACK ROYAL FLUSH!"
...where the fuck are you? WHERE. ARE. YOU? YOU WANT TO BE THE MEN AND WOMEN TO LEAD NDP? DO IT! Get up off your knees, stop jacking off on Colleen Dramesi, and GO FUCKING DO IT!
Flip starts pacing, his eyes wide, a crazed look in his eyes as his grin goes wider - bearing teeth... Aika lets go of Flip, but smiles a little, clapping for him - the fans cheering gets louder, and Flip keeps pacing, going to a corner, putting his boot against the second turnbuckle and spinning off it, looking over the crowd...
There's a BRAYING JACKASS at the announce table, and I want that person in THIS RING NOW.
[Visper Karr:] BURN!
Visper starts pushing Lann Avery, Jr., who looks positively saddened at being called to the ring...
[Flip Staley:] Woah, woah, woah there, Fatty. I meant the OTHER braying jackass.
Flip points at Visper Karr as the crowd stops cheering so forcefully... and he turns his hand, signalling her to come into the ring with one finger... she takes her time, but climbs into the ring.
[Flip Staley:] How are you doing, Visper? Enjoying the show so far?
[Visper Karr:] Uh, yeah, well, it could be better, but you know how it is, sitting next to people who talk the whole time and uh, ruin the show for you.
Flip puts his chin in one hand, and nods along thoughtfully...
[Flip Staley:] You don't say! Just talking the whole time, huh?
[Visper Karr:] Uh, YEAH! And, uh, people feel really bad for me, because-
Flip shakes his head, and pipes up, cutting her off.
[Flip Staley:] Okay, shut up. You're done. No more talking. You've said your limit of words tonight, and this is my interview, not yours. I s'pose you feel pretty good about what you do here, don't you?
[Visper Karr:] Well, yea-
[Flip Staley:] AH! I said "limit!" I haven't been with a girl from the states lately, does that word confuse you? Scare you? Cause you to break out in a nervous sweat? Because I'm looking at you now, and if you knew the meaning of the word "limit" you wouldn't have as much in the trunk as you do. Seriously: Seconds at the All You Can Eat Ice Cream bar is just a suggestion.
The crowd starts semi-booing, semi-cheering...
[Visper Karr:] You can't-
[Flip Staley:] Oh? Can't? What's that word? The conjunction, "Can" and "Not" a shortened phrase meant to conduce the necessity of brevity? Funny.
[Visper Karr:] No it's-
[Flip Staley:] HOT DAMN! Another one! Jesus, you are REALLY on a roll! You know what, Visper? You need to actually earn your paycheck! And I'm gonna give you a chance to! See, there's this pair of men in NDP. One of them is Matt Shane - the other is Mr. E. The MORE IMPORTANT TO ME is Mr. E. Ask me a question about Matt Shane.
Now.
[Visper Karr:] ...but you said I said my limit of words tonight.
[Flip Staley:] That I did! Hey, Ai! Check out the big brains on her!
Aika looks at her, cocks her head to the side and then nods a little.
[Flip Staley:] See that? Mr. E did that. To MY Aika. That hurt me, Visper. It hurt me a lot. It hurt me HERE...
Flip pounds his chest - about where his heart is.
People don't hurt me like that, either. It just does. Not. Happen. Let me tell you about Matt Shane: Matt Shane has testicles the size of Rhode Island. While he was fuckin' around with the other people in NDP, I was defending my championship. MY. NDP. CHAMPIONSHIP. MY! NDP! CHAMPIONSHIP!
[Visper Karr:] By cheating!
[Flip Staley:] New rule, don't interrupt me. I did what I was ASKED. motosada comes to me pre-match says, "Flip, I want you to do this." What do I do? I do exactly what was asked of me.
I went to PW-Wild, competed in the "Dream of Mirrors" Tournament.
Cheers.
I became a regular member of PW-Wild.
Cheers, a "WILD!" chant, and a small amount of boos...
I LEFT PW-Wild.
Cheers, and boos mixed.
...I cheated to retain my NDP Championship.
More boos than cheers...
All of that, every little bit, was asked of me by motosada. And why not? He took a chance on a rookie, and that chance paid off. I am the ace of NDP, even if Matt Shane is the champion... and what sort of loyalty am I being shown? I'm his toy to kick around. "We don't want Flip Staley in the NDP Champions Tournament!" he says. I didn't think I deserved to be in the tournament. Do you understand that, Visper?
Flip starts moving forward, cornering Visper as his smile goes ever wider, revealing canines and more teeth than an Osmand family member...
No. No, you don't. You don't, because you get paid to sit back in your comfy little chair and tear apart the accomplishments of every other wrestler in NDP. Phil Buster is a member of Team Ryder - Phil Buster works with Frog Jones and Eddie Swan, two men I trained with - no, better, TWO MEN I LIKE. So, by proxy, I like Phil Buster. And... at Outbreak, you crapped all over their accomplishments!
You. Noisy. Bitch. Noisy, self-centered, annoying bitch, you never even knew a goddam thing about professional wrestling before taking this job, and you don't have ANY RESPECT for the customs and traditions, you don't respect the men who came before in this sport, who opened the doors for women to do more than spread their legs in the locker rooms, who allowed people like the Goddess that is Jo Ryder or My Ai, My Beloved Ai, come to this ring and do what they want. You feed these fans your little one-liners and make NDP Television some of the most painful to watch programming EVER AIRED ON TELEVISION by glossing over what's important - the in-ring product, in case you forgot - for your little VENDETTA against Lann Avery, Jr.
God, do you honestly get pleasure fucking with the special ed kid?
The mixed crowd turns to mostly boos for Flip intimidating Visper - she starts shrugging down into the corner, as Flip looks down on her...
The Bossman says I can't touch you. The Bossman firing me is not the worst thing that could happen to me: You have Mr. E to thank for that. Simply put, I just don't care any more, I don't give a damn for your little rules and regulations, your violations of protocols, your fines. I don't want NDP's filthy money, cash you ripped from Jo Ryder's wallet after raping her of resources and contacts, using her to promote your little "motosada is God" complex.
Mr. E damaged the only thing that kept me in your rules, your limits - there's that damn word again.
Without Aika Sugiyama, I have nothing, Visper, do you understand that? I have NOTHING. I could've been the NDP Champion, but it would have all been HOLLOW, FOR NOTHING WITHOUT MY AI!
Flip crouches down , straddling Visper, and leaning down so that he's face to face with her...
Mr. E. Took everything I cared about away from me. And all I heard from everybody was that I deserved it. That SHE deserved it. And I'm the bad guy? You sick bastards.
He hocks up a mouthful of snot and spits in Visper's face, a giant green glob of mucous as she begins sobbing violently...
I, at least, never hit a bitch that didn't deserve it.
He stands up and walks over to Aika, and holds his hand out to her cheek, stroking it with his thumb, as her hands fly up to his wrist and hold it in place, as she rubs her cheeks into his hand vigorously. He begins speaking to her, and she nods along with every word he says.
And then... Matt Shane thinks I need to prove something to him, too, Ai. Can you believe him? He's talking to the man who IS NDP. He says I need to prove I can win matches. Lately, I don't care so much about winning, Ai, I care about hurting people: And Mr. E is going to see, I'm not so nice as to stop. I will keep going until every man and woman in NDP sees why Flip Staley is the man to be feared in NDP.
No. In NDP, I am not "the man" I am the Hitoshura - remember that, honey, that's your word!
[Aika:] Hitoshura!
[Flip Staley:] Yeah, Hitoshura - Demi-fiend, human devil... Man Possessed. And they'll see, Aika... it's all about us. It was in the beginning, and it will be about us in the end. See if I'm wrong Ai, because to get to the end we have to go through Mr. E...
Aika's face drops, and she hugs him tightly,burying her face in his chest.
You'll have nothing left to be afraid of when I beat him Ai... nothing at all.
Fade to commercials as Flip tosses the microphone down and wraps his arms around Aika to violent booing while Visper crawls out of the ring...
He looks very solemn as he stands in the ring, looking over the crowd... before picking up the microphone and pausing before speaking. The crowd is a mixed chorus of boos and cheers, before Flip turns his head down to the ground, looking at his boots.
[Flip Staley:] Yanno... with everybody having something to say... I figured it's time I responded.
I've heard what the people say in the back. "Flip Staley lost his teeth." "All bark, no bite."
A wounded animal, I think I heard once, a stray that needs to be put down.
Flip looks up, scanning over the crowd, showing little emotion.
This little blonde girl started talking crap about me a couple months ago. She started... and continued... and kept going. Soon, she had the gall to start saying how she cost me the NDP Championship. This little blonde girl, apparantly, was Colleen Dramesi.
Flip's emotionless face turns into a wide, devilish grin.
Funny thing, I didn't recognize her without seven guys jacking off on her face.
Crowd whoops and hollers, cheering...
Then, I saw her backstage right after eating a glazed donut, and DAMNED if it didn't all come togethe- oops. Well, pardon my choice of words there.
There are people in NDP calling themselves "THE GREATEST!" Or "THE FUTURE!" or "KING ACE JACK ROYAL FLUSH!"
...where the fuck are you? WHERE. ARE. YOU? YOU WANT TO BE THE MEN AND WOMEN TO LEAD NDP? DO IT! Get up off your knees, stop jacking off on Colleen Dramesi, and GO FUCKING DO IT!
Flip starts pacing, his eyes wide, a crazed look in his eyes as his grin goes wider - bearing teeth... Aika lets go of Flip, but smiles a little, clapping for him - the fans cheering gets louder, and Flip keeps pacing, going to a corner, putting his boot against the second turnbuckle and spinning off it, looking over the crowd...
There's a BRAYING JACKASS at the announce table, and I want that person in THIS RING NOW.
[Visper Karr:] BURN!
Visper starts pushing Lann Avery, Jr., who looks positively saddened at being called to the ring...
[Flip Staley:] Woah, woah, woah there, Fatty. I meant the OTHER braying jackass.
Flip points at Visper Karr as the crowd stops cheering so forcefully... and he turns his hand, signalling her to come into the ring with one finger... she takes her time, but climbs into the ring.
[Flip Staley:] How are you doing, Visper? Enjoying the show so far?
[Visper Karr:] Uh, yeah, well, it could be better, but you know how it is, sitting next to people who talk the whole time and uh, ruin the show for you.
Flip puts his chin in one hand, and nods along thoughtfully...
[Flip Staley:] You don't say! Just talking the whole time, huh?
[Visper Karr:] Uh, YEAH! And, uh, people feel really bad for me, because-
Flip shakes his head, and pipes up, cutting her off.
[Flip Staley:] Okay, shut up. You're done. No more talking. You've said your limit of words tonight, and this is my interview, not yours. I s'pose you feel pretty good about what you do here, don't you?
[Visper Karr:] Well, yea-
[Flip Staley:] AH! I said "limit!" I haven't been with a girl from the states lately, does that word confuse you? Scare you? Cause you to break out in a nervous sweat? Because I'm looking at you now, and if you knew the meaning of the word "limit" you wouldn't have as much in the trunk as you do. Seriously: Seconds at the All You Can Eat Ice Cream bar is just a suggestion.
The crowd starts semi-booing, semi-cheering...
[Visper Karr:] You can't-
[Flip Staley:] Oh? Can't? What's that word? The conjunction, "Can" and "Not" a shortened phrase meant to conduce the necessity of brevity? Funny.
[Visper Karr:] No it's-
[Flip Staley:] HOT DAMN! Another one! Jesus, you are REALLY on a roll! You know what, Visper? You need to actually earn your paycheck! And I'm gonna give you a chance to! See, there's this pair of men in NDP. One of them is Matt Shane - the other is Mr. E. The MORE IMPORTANT TO ME is Mr. E. Ask me a question about Matt Shane.
Now.
[Visper Karr:] ...but you said I said my limit of words tonight.
[Flip Staley:] That I did! Hey, Ai! Check out the big brains on her!
Aika looks at her, cocks her head to the side and then nods a little.
[Flip Staley:] See that? Mr. E did that. To MY Aika. That hurt me, Visper. It hurt me a lot. It hurt me HERE...
Flip pounds his chest - about where his heart is.
People don't hurt me like that, either. It just does. Not. Happen. Let me tell you about Matt Shane: Matt Shane has testicles the size of Rhode Island. While he was fuckin' around with the other people in NDP, I was defending my championship. MY. NDP. CHAMPIONSHIP. MY! NDP! CHAMPIONSHIP!
[Visper Karr:] By cheating!
[Flip Staley:] New rule, don't interrupt me. I did what I was ASKED. motosada comes to me pre-match says, "Flip, I want you to do this." What do I do? I do exactly what was asked of me.
I went to PW-Wild, competed in the "Dream of Mirrors" Tournament.
Cheers.
I became a regular member of PW-Wild.
Cheers, a "WILD!" chant, and a small amount of boos...
I LEFT PW-Wild.
Cheers, and boos mixed.
...I cheated to retain my NDP Championship.
More boos than cheers...
All of that, every little bit, was asked of me by motosada. And why not? He took a chance on a rookie, and that chance paid off. I am the ace of NDP, even if Matt Shane is the champion... and what sort of loyalty am I being shown? I'm his toy to kick around. "We don't want Flip Staley in the NDP Champions Tournament!" he says. I didn't think I deserved to be in the tournament. Do you understand that, Visper?
Flip starts moving forward, cornering Visper as his smile goes ever wider, revealing canines and more teeth than an Osmand family member...
No. No, you don't. You don't, because you get paid to sit back in your comfy little chair and tear apart the accomplishments of every other wrestler in NDP. Phil Buster is a member of Team Ryder - Phil Buster works with Frog Jones and Eddie Swan, two men I trained with - no, better, TWO MEN I LIKE. So, by proxy, I like Phil Buster. And... at Outbreak, you crapped all over their accomplishments!
You. Noisy. Bitch. Noisy, self-centered, annoying bitch, you never even knew a goddam thing about professional wrestling before taking this job, and you don't have ANY RESPECT for the customs and traditions, you don't respect the men who came before in this sport, who opened the doors for women to do more than spread their legs in the locker rooms, who allowed people like the Goddess that is Jo Ryder or My Ai, My Beloved Ai, come to this ring and do what they want. You feed these fans your little one-liners and make NDP Television some of the most painful to watch programming EVER AIRED ON TELEVISION by glossing over what's important - the in-ring product, in case you forgot - for your little VENDETTA against Lann Avery, Jr.
God, do you honestly get pleasure fucking with the special ed kid?
The mixed crowd turns to mostly boos for Flip intimidating Visper - she starts shrugging down into the corner, as Flip looks down on her...
The Bossman says I can't touch you. The Bossman firing me is not the worst thing that could happen to me: You have Mr. E to thank for that. Simply put, I just don't care any more, I don't give a damn for your little rules and regulations, your violations of protocols, your fines. I don't want NDP's filthy money, cash you ripped from Jo Ryder's wallet after raping her of resources and contacts, using her to promote your little "motosada is God" complex.
Mr. E damaged the only thing that kept me in your rules, your limits - there's that damn word again.
Without Aika Sugiyama, I have nothing, Visper, do you understand that? I have NOTHING. I could've been the NDP Champion, but it would have all been HOLLOW, FOR NOTHING WITHOUT MY AI!
Flip crouches down , straddling Visper, and leaning down so that he's face to face with her...
Mr. E. Took everything I cared about away from me. And all I heard from everybody was that I deserved it. That SHE deserved it. And I'm the bad guy? You sick bastards.
He hocks up a mouthful of snot and spits in Visper's face, a giant green glob of mucous as she begins sobbing violently...
I, at least, never hit a bitch that didn't deserve it.
He stands up and walks over to Aika, and holds his hand out to her cheek, stroking it with his thumb, as her hands fly up to his wrist and hold it in place, as she rubs her cheeks into his hand vigorously. He begins speaking to her, and she nods along with every word he says.
And then... Matt Shane thinks I need to prove something to him, too, Ai. Can you believe him? He's talking to the man who IS NDP. He says I need to prove I can win matches. Lately, I don't care so much about winning, Ai, I care about hurting people: And Mr. E is going to see, I'm not so nice as to stop. I will keep going until every man and woman in NDP sees why Flip Staley is the man to be feared in NDP.
No. In NDP, I am not "the man" I am the Hitoshura - remember that, honey, that's your word!
[Aika:] Hitoshura!
[Flip Staley:] Yeah, Hitoshura - Demi-fiend, human devil... Man Possessed. And they'll see, Aika... it's all about us. It was in the beginning, and it will be about us in the end. See if I'm wrong Ai, because to get to the end we have to go through Mr. E...
Aika's face drops, and she hugs him tightly,burying her face in his chest.
You'll have nothing left to be afraid of when I beat him Ai... nothing at all.
Fade to commercials as Flip tosses the microphone down and wraps his arms around Aika to violent booing while Visper crawls out of the ring...