26Sep06; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

[motosada]

<<Singles Dark Match>>
Diva Dynamite (X) vs Piter Svoboda (O)
450° Splash, 6:14, 76%

Hoo-ee! This one was a stinker. (I thought so, anyway. I guess the crowd enjoyed pointless spotfests, so... there ya go.) Hate to say it, but, Diva Dynamite might just be the jobbingest jobber to come out of Jobberton. Or... is it Jobberville? Jobberburg? Moving on, Diva did a very bad job of trying to heel it up for Svoboda, but did get a lot of boos. Mostly because she kept missing her timing. It was about as bad as a Jackie Gayda match.

!!!

Hey! Maybe that's it! Diva Dynamite is Jackie Gayda!

... Nah, can't be. She's pregnant or something now. Moving on, again, Svoboda picked up the win in a mercifully short time with a 450° Splash.



[Visper:] Gentlemen! It's that time again!

[Jr.:] Time for more Madden Football commercials?

[Visper:] That's right! It's time for Outb-- Wait. What?

[Jr.:] Oh, you know. The football video game. The one that has a commercial in like, every commercial break on every TV show these days.

[Visper:] No, it's not time for commercials for stupid video games that don't advertise on our programming. Shut up. No one cares that it's football season.

[Jr.:] I care.

[Visper:] Okay. No one that matters cares.

[Jr.:] Aw.

[Visper:] Your cheap, "under the table" advertising attempts aside, we actually do have some wrestling planned for tonight. Seeing as though, after all, we're a wrestling promotion.

[Jr.:] Worry not, citizens! We won't try to confuse you by booking falls count anywhere ladder matches.

[Visper:] ...Falls count anywhere... ...ladder match? What kind of idiot would try to pass that one off?

[Jr.:] A real big one.

[Visper:] Touché. So, shall we get on with the show?

[Jr.:] God, yes. Hurry!

<<Singles Match>>
"Desert Lynx" Erica Belleza (w/ Ramirez)
vs
Tani (w/ Kazen)

This would've been a very sporting match if Belleza wasn't being such a bitch. She seemed to really enjoy picking on [read: tormenting] the (supposedly) younger Tani, and kept back raking the girl, which seemed to gain the ire of both Kazen and Tani herself. Belleza was having a good ol' laugh with herself, until Tani popped up and executed a climb-up kneelkick that connected with the back of Belleza's head. Belleza hit the mat hard, and Tani locked in the NIRVANA Lock, going for the choke-out, but a one-two distraction/interference by Galcian and Ramirez, respectively (that means that Galcian distracted and Ramirez kicked Tani in the face, for the slow ones in the audience), sprung Kazen into action. He hopped on the apron and sprung off the middle rope to strike Galcian down with a very harsh BABA CHOP, knocking Galcian off the apron. The referee started blabbering to Kazen, who grabbed the ref and spun him around just in time for the ref to see Belleza and Ramirez about to drop Tani with the Rains of Destruction! Ramirez let go of Tani and tried to play it off as "I... uh... was just helping her up, see?" but the ref wasn't having any of it, ejecting Ramirez from the ring. It would've been ringside as a whole, except during all the hub-bub, Tani did a nice, very tricky-looking floatover from the backdrop position that Belleza had her in, twisting into a sunset flip before hitting the mat, which Tani then hopped over into a jackknife pin for the three!!

Tani wins by pinfall
Time: 13.48
Rating: 86%

[Visper:] Man, oh, man! Tani with what has to be viewed as a big upset there, as Tani and Kazen... don't exactly have the best win-loss records here in NDP.

[Jr.:] Belleza has to be especially upset that she got one-upped there. Whatever it was she kept doing to Tani was really throwing the girl for a loop, and completely had her off her game. But, when ARMADA got too involved in the match, Kazen was quick-witted enough to not get suckered in and to turn the tables on them. That can't sit well with Belleza at all, who fancies herself as some sort of "mental assassin". Whatever that means.

[Visper:] I think it means she's just barely trying to not get sued.

[Jr.:] Ooooh... ... Wai--

Merciful scene cut with the Flash Senshi in a huddle. Princess Aika on the right, Charcoal Lady on the left, Tuxedo Kazen in the center. We appear to be joining them in the middle of a discussion. Let's watch! HAH! LIKE YOU HAVE A CHOICE!!1

[Charcoal Lady:] Oh, please. What kind of reaction do you really think we're gonna get?

[Princess Aika:] I'm thinking, um... "Hey! Glad you came over! Want some tea?!"

[Charcoal Lady:] That's funny, because I'm thinking we're going to get our butts whupped.

[Princess Aika:] That's no way to talk, Akiana! You're a protector of the universe! Be positive!

[Charcoal Lady:] Okay. I'm positive we're going to get our butts whupped.

[Princess Aika:] That's... kind of better. Oh! Let's ask a neutral party! Tuxedo Kazen, what do you think we should do here?

Both Princess Aika and Charcoal Lady look at Tuxedo Kazen, who raises his hands up and backs up from the huddle, shaking his head. Both Princess Aika and Charcoal Lady sigh and shake their heads. Tuxedo Kazen stands up and suddenly freezes, mouth gaping, eyes wide. He tries to motion at something, but neither of his fellow protectors of goodness notice.

[Princess Aika:] Look, we have to do something! We might not all have ever seen eye-to-eye, but... but what happened on Maelstrom was just... It was just mean! And... And mean is even worse than evil!

Charcoal Lady is about to respond, but interrupted by Tuxedo Kazen tapping on her shoulder. She and Princess Aika look up at Tuxedo Kazen, to see him pointing behind them. The two ladies eyes go wide and they stand up straight, turning around slowly to see-- Akira Blaze!!

[Princess Aika and Charcoal Lady:] Eek!

Princess Aika and Charcoal Lady quickly duck behind Tuxedo Kazen, and Tuxedo Kazen just stands there, looking like a deer in headlights as Akira Blaze stands in the doorway of her dressing room, staring at the group. Tuxedo Kazen slowly raises his arm and waves, smiling a big, fake-ass smile. Akira crosses her arms and looks rather bored, and Tuxedo Kazen quickly drops the smile and holds just his index finger up, indicating that she should just hooooold on a second. Tux quickly turns around and grabs Princess Aika, placing her in front of him, while he gives a big smile and a thumbs up to Akira. Princess Aika gives her best impression of a deer in headlights - seems to be a theme here - and just kinda waves at Akira.

[Princess Aika:] Uh... Greetings from the Flash Kingdom! Er... Well, you see, ah... um... How 'bout them Knicks?

Akira shakes her head slowly, turns around, and her door closes behind her. Princess Aika slumps, and Charcoal Lady finally peeks around behind Tuxedo Kazen.

[Charcoal Lady:] Is she gone?

Tuxedo Kazen nods, and Charcoal Lady stands back up. Princess Aika continues to sag her shoulders, but suddenly perks up!

[Princess Aika:] Well, that went well!

[Charcoal Lady:] ... You're kidding, right?

[Princess Aika:] Did we get our butts whupped?

[Charcoal Lady:] Well, no, but...

[Princess Aika:] Then it went well! C'mon, troops! We need to work on a new plan of action!

Princess Aika begins walking off away from Akira Blaze's dressing room, smiling rather happily, leaving Tuxedo Kazen and Charcoal Lady where they stand.

[Charcoal Lady:] Hey, Princess Aika, could we, maybe, not do it outside of our sworn enemy's dressing room this time? Maybe?

Princess Aika keeps walking on, and Charcoal Lady looks to Tuxedo Kazen. Tux raises his hands and shakes his head, causing Charcoal Lady to slump.

[Charcoal Lady:] C'mooon... We better not let her get too far away-- Hey! Princess Aika! Wait for us!

Charcoal Lady grabs Tuxedo Kazen by the hand and starts running, dragging Tux behind her, yelling for Princess Aika to slow down.

[Charcoal Lady:] Hey, c'mon! Really! Slow doooown!

Fade out.

--Commercial Break--

[motosada]

Scene fades into Paradigm standing in front of a NDP backdrop. He still sports the red, white, and blue attire of his latter WILD days. And the best hair in the biz. People claim he spends hours getting it JUST RIGHT.

[Paradigm:] You know, there is one thing in this world that I tried to follow. The one thing that hindered me in my tenure in WILD. And that is WONDER. I define wonder as this: a state of mind produced by something new, unexpected, or extraordinary.

Now, everyone has felt a sense of wonder within the world, whether is be the power of nature, the miracle of a newborn, the genius of a literary work, or even wrestling for Championship gold....but not me!!! In WILD, I was nothing more than cannon fodder. Sure, I upset Leche but what happens afterward? Not a damn thing. I was there for two years! Two years! And what did that get me? A Mr. Clean fixation and my hands covering my face in shame. Shame that I didn't get noticed, that I worked my ass off, got my ass kicked to please everyone, that I could kickout of the deadliest of deadly maneuvers.

Well, that's all changed. I'm 100% New Damage Prowrestling and I have a legit shot at being the number one contender for the Light-Heavyweight Championship title. This is one thing I've wanted since before EVO began, and I'll be damned if it'll get pulled away from me at the last second. Akira Blaze is quite the competitor, but this is MY time to shine. I'm 1000% more focused and 1000% more determined to go out there and make a name for myself and to prove that I belong within the top tier of New Damage Prowrestling's Light-Heavyweight division. And I promise to give you viewers of NDP a complete and utter sense of WONDER.

Fade to announce table.

[Visper:] Light-Heavyweight action up next, as two of NDP's top Light-Heavyweights - Akira Blaze and Paradigm - battle for the opportunity to face Light-Heavyweight Champion 50CENTAVOS at Tribulation for the title!

[Jr.:] Yanno, I'm surprised that Akira Blaze even had to wrestle for that spot. Don't ex-Champions usually have a rematch already allowed them?

[Visper:] Typically, yes. But, Akira Blaze is just wacky like that. If you recall, she gladly took on all comers for the Championship when she had it, even defending it through the entire Outbreak: Evolution tournament, which saw her lose the title to 50CENTAVOS in the finals at the Evolution.R MEGASUPER-DUPEREVENT. I guess Akira just felt like tearing up the ranks again on her way back into title contention, instead of feeling that she was owed the automatic rematch.

[Jr.:] Well, good for her! I'm sure certain people who's initials are all the same letter could learn a lesson there!

[Visper:] Hey! You're not in the industry! You don't know!

[Jr.:] Oh. Right.

<< Light-Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Singles Match>>
Paradigm
vs
Akira Blaze

Akira Blaze brought the high-flyin' this match, and Paradigm did, too! The two started with a pretty standard "trading punches" bit, then transitioned into some light chain wrestling, and Akira stopped that with a springboard missilekick, damn near knocking Paradigm across the ring! Paradigm brought a game plan with him, though, and after nearly being murdered by DDTs and back drops, set it in motion; neutralize the legs of Akira Blaze. Paradigm was pretty rabid about it, too, nailing Akira with knee clips, sweep kicks, and even some ASS-BASED OFFENSE!

...

Okay, not really. I mean, how in the hell would you ass-ram someone's knee, anyway? Shiro Koshinaka, I defy you to do it!

Moving along, Paradigm managed to quite handily ground Akira Blaze after a lot of basic knee locks and the like. Akira didn't really realize this until she attempted a corner rebound missilekick, only to fall and eat turnbuckle. Paradigm started changing his gameplan, from "ground Akira Blaze" to "completely pick Akira Blaze apart" right after Akira managed to smash his face with a lariat, almost gaining Akira a victory by knock out. It was nasty. There was blood and everything.

Paradigm managed to regain control with a well-placed dropkick to Akira's knee, following up with a well-placed dropkick to Akira's face. An Irish whip later, and Akira was strung out in the turnbuckle, being set up for an overhead belly-to-belly superplex! Paradigm would go for a second overhead belly-to-belly superplex, but Akira caught him in the throat with a punch, then nailed a swing DDT from the top rope, and Paradigm was DONE, SON!!

Akira Blaze wins by pinfall
Time: 15.53

[Visper:] And with that, we now know that it will be Akira Blaze facing 50CENTAVOS for the Light-Heavyweight Championship at Tribulation! So, with all that settled, I do believe it's time to take a run-down of the current Tribulation Supercard.

[Jr.:] Sounds good to the people screaming in my headset!

[Visper:] And I have quite an announcement to make regarding the Supercard. So, roll it!

Hell by Disturbed starts to play in the background, and flashy graphics start. Hell, you've all seen a promo package for a PPV; you know what's going on.

[Visper:] That announcement I had to make? Well, at Tribulation, in a joint association with OG-Joshi, I'm going to be making a rare appearance into an NDP ring for an OG-Joshi Special Feature Match! It's going to be Yoyo Banzai, Lana, and myself in a triple threat match, just for the NDP audience! The best part? OG-Joshi threw a bunch of money for us to do this showcase match, so everyone gets a big bonus!

[Jr.:] THAT'S A HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!!

[Visper:] Everyone but you. You just get a box of Orochi-O's.

[Jr.:] THAT'S NOT SUCH A HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!!

[Visper:] How very astute. Moving on! Making his debut at Tribulation will be Jakob Furis! Who claims to be a vampire! Exciting!

[Jr.:] Well, the guy is obviously out of his mind. The poor film crew that was sent to chronicle Jakob Furis' introduction to the NDP Audience were half-traumatized and half-hysterical at what they were witness to, and it's certainly not because of any validity to Jakob's claims. We're not even sure who he'll be facing, but they'd better be careful, because Jakob's not exactly "all there".

[Visper:] Psychological examination from a chimp in a black cowboy hat. Amazing.

[Jr.:] I'll take that as a compliment.

[Visper:] Moving on! Again! Kaori NiGHT and Holly will have a FORSAKEN rematch, as Kaori tries to assert herself over a person that she feels snook in and got a victory over her only because the self-proclaimed Queen of Pro Wrestling was in a mindset that was thrown off by the debuting Holly.

[Jr.:] This one'll be nasty, for sure. I wouldn't even be surprised if this one was called off on a disqualification, simply because these two just hate each other. They can't even open their mouths without talking crap about each other. It's gonna be awesome!

[Visper:] Jason Wesley made his return to NDP at Evolution.R, gladly doing what he calls "taking out the garbage"; trying to rid NDP of everything he feels is wrong with it. One of those things just happened to be Mr. E.

[Jr.:] Mr. E didn't take too kindly to that, though, and the two men have done nothing but brawl with each other, fighting through the crowd, and not being even able to step into the ring before they start whaling on each other. This one'll leave someone hurting really, really bad, and the other one pinned for the three. It's gonna be brutal!

[Visper:] As we now know, Akira Blaze will get her chance to reclaim the Light-Heavyweight Championship that 50CENTAVOS... let's say "sneakily won" at Evolution.R.

[Jr.:] You can tell that Akira Blaze really wants to work her way back to that title, as she's been having a wealth of great matches against really good opponents lately. 50CENTAVOS hasn't been sharing Akira's passion for defending the Light-Heavyweight Championship, and you gotta believe that Akira wants to knock him off the top to put some stock back into the Championship.

[Visper:] And finally, Colleen, the "Living Venus" herself, will finally get an opportunity she's been waiting a long, long time for; a shot at the NDP Championship, one-on-one, with Matt Shane. She's had to do some sneaky things to get here, and I'm sure she'll do some more to win that title, but if anyone can combat that, it's Matt Shane.

[Jr.:] Matt Shane has definitely proved himself as NDP Champion, facing the top people in NDP time and time again, in some BIG matches. When he beat Flip Staley for the NDP Championship at SuperKickFest '04, that made a big statement to everyone, as Flip Staley had been simply dominate over NDP during the time he was here.

[Visper:] Matt Shane would also be well-advised to find some kind of neutralizer for Zachary Valentine, who will no doubt do all he can to ensure that his charge becomes NDP Champion. He's shown himself to have no end of dirty tricks up his sleeves, and will more than likely go to farther lengths to make sure that Colleen wins the title than Colleen herself would.

Hell fades, as it's time to pay some bills! Rhetorically speaking, anyway, cuz... blah blah. Go read the V.W.A. Finale, you suckers!

--Commercial Break--

[Visper:] For those that missed the last Maelstrom, shame on you.

[Jr.:] Yeah!

[Visper:] Also, you missed what was supposed to be Jason Wesley versus Mr. E. Jason had been more-or-less gunning for Mr. E since his return, saying that the Violence Tenor is everything that is wrong with New damage Prowrestling right now.

[Jr.:] Mr. E, quite understandably, took offense to that, and the two have been quick to brawl each and every time they've gotten near each other.

[Visper:] Their match on Maelstrom didn't even get started, as Jason Wesley hid by the entryway and ambushed Mr. E during his entrance, and the two brawled down to the ring before the fight was able to be broken up.

[Jr.:] Mr. E might've gotten the best blow of all in, however, as that prized giant cheque of Jason Wesley's was thrown into the ring, and hasn't been recovered.

[Visper:] Jason might very well be distraught over the missing giant cheque, but was quite pleased to find out that he'll be getting another crack at Mr. E on the upcoming Tribulation Supercard Event.

<<Singles Match>>
"The $32,500 Man" Jason Wesley
vs
Victor Harris

Jason Wesley, quite obviously looking past Victor Harris, was caught off guard repeatedly during this match. From the beginning, Jason tried to get into the driver's seat, but Vic kept throwing counter after counter at him. Vic had Jason on the ropes a few times, picking up nearfall after nearfall, completely dominating the first six or seven minutes. Jason finally started getting in some solid offense, though, and began thrashing Harris quite thoroughly. A big knee to the gut cut Wesley off, tho, followed up right away by a Wild Bomb, but Harris still couldn't pick up the pinfall.

They continued to go back-and-forth for a couple minutes, Jason slinging Vic across the ring with an ippon-zeoi, holding the arm and pulling Harris right into the Wrist Clutch Exploder for the win!

Jason Wesley wins by pinfall
Time: 13.36
Rating: 91%

[Visper:] And the win here for Jason Wesley certainly has to send a message back to Mr. E. Jason was on the receiving end of a lot of punishment, including that absolutely vicious Wild Bomb of Victor Harris', but still came away with the victory.

[Jr.:] As if Victor Harris didn't have enough things to worry about these days, I think it's safe to say that you can add cranial trauma to that list.

[Visper:] That Wrist Clutch Exploder is a nasty, nasty move, especially when you take it full on the forehead like Vic Harris did. Ouch-plus-one. Don't try that at home, kids. For serious.


© 2006, New Damage Prowrestling