26Jul06; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

[motosada]

[Jr.:] Welcome, loyal viewing audience, to Outbreak! I'm Lann Avery, Jr., Visper Karr is off getting Nachos. We have a BIG show tonight, as we'll hear from our new NDP Light-Heavyweight Champion, 50CENTAVOS, regarding his capturing the title at Evolution.R, as well as the returning Jason Wesley, who came back to NDP at Evolution.R, defeating Flip Staley along the way! BAH GAWD, IT'S GONNA BE A SLOBBAHKNOCKAH!

<<Singles Match>>
"The Show Opener" Piter Svoboda
vs.
"Mistress" Roselyn Pride

Roselyn Pride is in a bad, bad, bad mood. Granted, the scowl should've been a dead giveaway, but that's pretty much how Roselyn always looks. How did we know she was in a bad mood, then? Well, first, she almost bit Svoboda's nose off after a test of strength, leaving him a bloody mess. The next indicator was a hot shot into the turnbuckle, where she tied Svoboda up in the ropes, grabbed his legs, and kicked him between the legs. Kinda like that Bob Holly guy, 'cept she didn't kick him in the stomach. Repeatedly did not kick him in the stomach.

Piter Svoboda wins by disqualification
Time: 3.15
Rating: wtf?

After the bell rang, Roselyn dropped Svoboda's legs, then grabbed him and quickly locked in Summon Suffering for a good minute, the referee trying to pry her off the whole time, but didn't leg go until Trent Kasta's music hit the arena. Roselyn let go and ran to the ropes near the entryway, expecting Trauma to come out, but when he didn't, Roselyn headed up the entrance ramp looking rather lost.

[Jr.:] CRAZIER THAN A PET 'COON! ONE BRICK SHORT OF A PICNIC! Um... something else that helps put over the fact that Roselyn Pride is not quite right in the head!

[Visper:] I think what you're going for is "She's like Nancy Grace on a double-off day."

[Jr.:] YES! After all this time, the things I've been thinking have finally found the proper words! Amazing!

[Visper:] I do what I can.

[Jr.:] Did you get my soft pretzel?

[Visper:] They just had the cinnimon ones.

[Jr.:] Aaawwwwwwwww...

--Commercial break--

Kick Him When He's Down ROCKS the NDP speakers as a very confident Holly makes her grand entrance into the Outbreak arena...not to be confused with the MOVIE Outbreak...which...had decidedly LESS diseases and toxins then Holly seems to have picked up in her short lifespan.



Holly makes her way to the ring, stopping briefly to actually thrust her ass in the direction of the crowd. After then blowing section D a kiss, she continues to make her way to the center of the NDP ring.

[Holly:] Welcome back NDP!! I know...it seems like you should be welcoming me back, but YOU'RE the one getting the honor and pleasure of seeing ME compete in an NDP ring!

Granted...that pleasure is somewhat depleted by the fact that I'm facing Diva Dynamite...a girl so empty-minded that a single thought causes her to collapse to the ground from its weight! Luckily that's not a common occurrence for her....

But while dominating Diva will prove to be an amusing and quick workout, I must say that I'm a bit shocked to hear that Kaori NiGHT... "The HighLiGHT of the all-you-can-eat NiGHT diner", will be accompanying Diva!"

Kaori...are you that desperate to dig up those memories of FORSAKEN? Do you want to watch how I dominated you from a DIFFERENT viewpoint then the inside of my shorts? You seemed quite content there last time!

Or are you just looking to watch the ACE of Joshi Pro Wrestling dispatch yet another inferior wrestling specimen?

Speaking of men..it must be lonely for the Queen of ProWres---

Queen of the World hits the PA system, and Kaori enters Viking Hall, mic in hand, with Diva Dynamite tagging along behind her. After a moment, her music fades out.

[Kaori:] Would you please... shut the hell up?!?

Kaori waits a moment, smiling widely.

[Kaori:] Now, Holly, you can talk on and on, endlessly, about how great you think you are. And if I hadn't stepped in, you might still be flapping your big gums about how you're the "Ace" of Joshi. But, if you were really as good as you say you are, then wouldn't you have beaten Jo Ryder at Intelligent.Design.R?!

The crowd sorta cheers, and Holly scowls.

[Holly:] I-- I didn't know she was going to be there! I wasn't prepare--

[Kaori:] Oh, just like I wasn't prepared to face you at FORSAKEN? Listen, Holly, you're just a flash in the pan. Someone like me, I'm going to be at the top of this business for a long, long time. I will go down in history as one of the all-time greats. You? You'll go down on a lot of guys, with nothing to show for it but a laundry bill.

Holly, you came into New Damage Prowrestling in a big way, getting a big win over yours truly. But that was just one night, one match. You're going to see that complete surprise are the only conditions that'll work in your favor here in NDP. And my good buddy here, Diva Dynamite, is gonna show you what surprise is all about. Ain't ya?

Diva kinda stares at Kaori, who is waving her over, but Diva just stands in shock. Kaori shakes her head and grabs Diva, dragging Diva to her side, and holding the mic in front of Diva.

[Diva Dynamite:] ...

...

[Diva Dynamite:] ...

[Kaori:] This is the part where you say something about beating Holly.

Diva appears to snap to her senses.

[Diva:] Oh! Um... Yeah! Holly! You're going to get it-- get beat! Tonight! Yeah!

Kaori hangs her head and pulls the mic away from Diva. Faint begins to play and Kaori pats Diva on the back, hard, damn near shoving her on her way down the entrance ramp, and then Diva picks up into a run down the ramp and slides into the ring with Kaori following behind her, looking rather exasperated at Diva's "mic skills".

<<Singles Match>>
"Bitch-Jitzu Mistress" Holly
vs.
Diva Dynamite

Diva started on fire, simply surprising Holly with her ferocity. Which lasted about 20 seconds before Holly just kicked the crap out of Diva and damn near sent Diva and her mask into the fifth row. Holly pummeled Diva, unleashing some good ol' Bitch-Jitzu on her. Diva started to get some momentum back after Holly whipped her to the ropes, Diva ducked under a spin kick, and then nailed the Dynamiku Knee Kick! Diva hit a couple little flash pins and then hit a suplex or two, SUPERKICK!! Holly down near the corner, and Diva looks at Kaori, giving the HUGE International Pop Star a big thumbs up. Kaori looks confused but returns the thumbs up and Diva climbs the turnbuckle-- POP STAR FLASH FROM DIVA DYNAMITE!! No! Holly got the knees up! Holly pops up, Diva getting to her feet but cut off by the Loser's Lunch! Holly goes for the cover, but stops, and smiles in the direction of Kaori! Holly pulls Diva to her feet, attempts to stuff Diva's head into her tights, but the mask is getting in the way a bit-- nope, she got it. MUFF DRIVER!!! Diva's head seems to be stuck - which is a disturbing thought, and I think we should all send Diva some "get well" cards because who knows what she could be getting exposed to right now - but Holly manages to remove Diva and Diva's mask from her tights, and pins Diva one, two, three.

Holly wins by pinfall
Time: 11.44
Rating: 73%

[Jr.:] Kaori NiGHT getting sent a message by Holly, after Diva Dynamite tried just a bit too hard to emulate the self-proclaimed Queen of Professional Wrestling.

[Visper:] Diva got COCKY. And then got her head stuffed into a pair of spandex pants and driven into the mat. Not a good combination.

[Jr.:] Yeah. I think even I'd try to avoid having my head in contact with Holly's, um... "bikini area".

[Visper:] Always a good goal in life.

Holly is seen gloating as the ref raises her hand, and Kaori just leaves the ringside area in disgust.

--Commercial break--

[motosada]

Colleen came down to the ring determined, and ready to shoot her mouth off at the drop of a hat. Belleza, flanked by Galcian and Ramirez, took her sweet time coming to the ring, hopping in and smiling nicely at the scowling Colleen. As ARMADA's entrance music died out, Colleen grabbed for a microphone much to the displeasure of the crowd. She stood toe-to-toe with Belleza, who had Galcian and Ramirez still right behind her, and Colleen drew the mic up to say something, opening her mouth and then blasting Belleza right between the eyes with the mic! Ramirez and Galcian damn near jumped Colleen, but referee "Generic" Joe Brown got in the way and forced them out of the ring, giving Colleen plenty of time to rock Belleza a second time with the mic before the ref rang the bell to start the match!

<<Singles Match>>
"Desert Lynx" Belleza (w/ ARMADA)
vs.
"The Living Venus" Colleen (w/ Zachary Valentine)

Colleen took charge in this one and to be frank, Belleza didn't stand a chance - thanks mostly to Colleen attacking her before the bell. Colleen was in full tilt here, brawling with Belleza, backing her into the corner and doing what would appear to be a decent Flip Staley impression. Then again, maybe Belleza was working on her Muhammed Ali rope-a-dope, taking a serious beating in hopes of wearing Colleen out.

... Nah. Belleza managed to duck - or maybe, just collapse - when Colleen went for the Jackpot, The Living Venus crashing and burning and allowing Belleza a chance to get some offense in. Playing to Belleza's strengths, she socked The Living Venus in her only known weak spot; the face. Colleen reacted badly, grabbing the referee and demanding that he disqualify Belleza, allowing Belleza time to get in a quick roll-up; one, two, thre-- BAH GAWD KING HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?!?!?!

Colleen popped up, super-pissed and bleeding from the nose, Colleen started getting ducked and dodged by the Desert Lynx, with Belleza completely brushing off anything Colleen would throw at her, countering with everything in her considerable arsenal. One point saw Colleen going for the Thesz Press, only to get countered by a spinebuster from Belleza, which was less "spine" and more "back of her head". Belleza started to attack Colleen's knees, CHOPPIN' DOWN THAT BIG REDWOOD. Colleen put a quick end to that, though, as Belleza got drop toe holded face-first into the corner padding, allowing Colleen the schooooooooollllll boooooooy~~! One, two, thre-- kick out!

Colleen up, waiting for Belleza, Colleen with a Spinning Chamber that's less Rock Bottom and more super-head-spikey Uranage, paying Belleza back for the skullbuster from earlier. Colleen folds Belleza's legs up, lays across them, and still pulls the tights for the pin; one, two, three![/i]

Colleen wins by pinfall
Time: 9.12
Rating: 69% (hah!)

Colleen rolls out of the ring quickly, smiling, doing the "pointing to my head cuz I'm smarter than you!" bit. Zachary Valentine raises her arm up high, as Colleen declares herself the next NDP Champion.

--Commercial break--

We come back to the show with Rocket Science playing in the background, bossmoto already in the ring.

[motosada:] Ladies and gentlemen, at the Evolution.R super-dupercard, NDP saw the return of one of its biggest and brightest stars; Jason Wesley. Jason has already made a huge impact, and has requested time to speak to the crowd, tonight! So, without further ado, Jason Wesley!

The lights dim, and Remedy hits over the P.A system, bringing the long-time NDP fans in attendance to their feet for the obligatory "Welcome Back" pop. He steps through the curtain grinning from ear to ear. Decked out casually in a pair of faded jeans and an Upper Class Connection World Tour '06 t-shirt, he saunters slowly down the ramp, lugging one of those large cardboard checks underneath his arm. He stops about mid-way down the ramp, and proudly displays the check in front of him, turning slowly in a full circle, to make sure everyone in the arena gets a good, long look. After he's content that everyone has seen it, he continues making his way towards the ring. He carefully manuevers the check onto the ring apron, careful not to ding it on anything, and he gingerly slides it underneath the bottom rope, following shortly behind. He walks out to the center of the ring, as moto extends his hand for a handshake. But, instead of accepting his hand, Jason offers moto an up close and personal look at the giant check. The boss looks a bit put off by it, shooting Jason a little glare ¬_¬; ...but, he also knows that that's just Jason, so, he concedes the microphone, and makes a quick exit out of the ring.

[Jason]: Let it out, people of Philly! Let it out, fans of NDP! I know it's been a long time... and I know you've all been holding your breath, fearful that each time your beloved New Damage Prowrestling came on the air... that it could very well be for the last time. But you can let go of it, exhale, and breathe easy again! Because I'm back, baby!

Jason strikes a heroic pose, still drawing cheers from some of the older fans, some of the newer fans sitting quietly, unsure what to think.

[Jason]: That's right, I'm back! And even though I'm fairly certain all of you know who I am... I mean, c'mon... how many new fans could've you have picked up without me around, REALLY? Not many, that's for sure! But, on the slim chance that some of you people are new, I'll do you the honor of introducing myself, to give YOU the pleasure of making my accquaintance! I am the greatest wrestler on this planet... nay, in this galaxy! Nobody, or noTHING in the entire Milky Way is fit to hold my jock! I'm half of the McPro tag team champions, the most dominant team in the history of history, not to mention I'm the Thirty-Two and a Half Thousand Dollar Man! Don't believe me? Check the CHECK!

Jason hoists the gigantic check high above his head. The check is for $65,000 USD, but, it's made out to the winners of the McPro Tag League... so only half of it belongs to Jason. You do the math.

[Jason]: That's probably more than most of you will make this year... but I'm getting off track here. I am all of those things... but to put it simply... I'm Jason Wesley. The man that BUILT this house! And even though I never held the belt... everybody knew it. moto knew it. That's why he called, and BEGGED me to come back!

Jason nods his head very rapidly, and emphatically.

[Jason]: And I can see why... Ever since I left, this place has gone to crap! It's total garbage, and I don't mean tables and tacks... I mean the pieces of trash that waddle down to this ring every week, and would have you to believe that they're professional wrestlers! But they're nothin', you hear me?

Jason hocks up a big one from down somewhere deep, and spits a big wad of phlegm onto the canvas.

[Jason]: See that? That's my spit, and my bile. And yanno what? It has more wrestling talent than anything on this roster! It has more of a place in the ring than anybody in the back. It makes me sick to my stomach to see what's become of this place. But not because of any of you... I could care less about any of you! It's the fact that no matter how crappy, no matter how low and destitute this place gets, my name is always going to be associated with this place, just because I was here from the first! And I REFUSE to have my career dragged down into the pits because of this place! So I'm here to do some cleaning, and I'm not gonna stop, until I re-mold this place into my image... and that means taking what's been rightfully mine all along. The NDP Championship. But you don't have to worry Matt, at least not yet. That belt in the final piece of the puzzle, and taking it from you right off the bat would be anticlimatic. No... I'm a showman at heart Matt... and the climax is nothing without the chase. So you're safe... for the time being.

Jason pauses for a minute, and repositions the check.

[Jason]: I've got a lot to keep me busy in the meantime though. Where to start.... Mexican gangstas.... A whole bunch of dykes... Hm.

Jason rubs his chin thoughtfully.

[Jason]: What about the guy who thinks he's an extra outta Phantom of the Opera? Mr. T? No... that's not it.... not enough gold chains... uhm...

The opera (music) begins and Mr. E comes out slowly.

[Mr. E]: I believe you were about to mention me. I have been listening to this whole act and it resembles your carrer well. It is so unfortunate, if you ask me. Why are you so eager to return to failure, Mr. Wesley?

Jason looks more than a bit taken a back, and stops to take the knuckle of his index finger and ring out his ears.

[Jason]: Pardon me, Yanni... maybe I'm suffering from a bit of waxy buildup... did you just say the words "failure" and "Wesley" in the same sentence? 'Cause maybe you haven't heard... but those two words don't really mesh together too well.

[Mr. E]: Oh yes your failure is guaranteed, the moment that you decided to call me out into the wreck that will become you. See I have already faced the champion and it was a delightful experience, a worthy challenge. I will not be denied the chance again and next time I will be victorious. So you see, Mr. Wesley, you have just stepped into the final act, and I am the featured player. This will be your demise, I am your end. Would you like to rush things?

Jason looks around, then brings his hand to his face, looking rather thoughtful. The crowd murmers as Jason looks down, and to the right-- Jason with a huge right to the fac... er... mask of Mr. E! Jason with another, and another, and another, rocking Mr. E back more and more, Mr. E up against the ropes and Jason grabs the giant check with both hands, spins around--

[Jr.:] BAH GAWD! GIANT CHECK SHOT RIGHT ONTO MR. E'S HEAD! BAH GAWD!!!

Mr. E takes the giant check full-on and tumbles out of the ring over the top rope! The crowd explodes and Jason Wesley gingerly lays the giant check into a corner, inviting Mr. E back inside the ring, but Mr. E continues on his way to the back.


© 2006, New Damage Prowrestling