Post by orochigeese on Nov 6, 2006 3:02:52 GMT -5
(OOC NOTE: For SOME idea of what is going on in this RP, you'll need to check out the HaLAWLoween show or at LEAST View the Furis/Devil Goose match! It's cool...i'll wait til you're done...really! Promo BEGINULATE)
----------------------------------(mystical line of RP beginnings)-------------------------------
*Sigh* Here we go again...I've been sent by NDP to talk with Jakob Furis regarding his previous LAWL match and upcoming NDP match. Per my assignmemt, I have to go ALL the way to NYC and enter his hovel of an apartment building. As expected, there is a strange smell in the hallway as I approach his door...accompanied by strange "symbols" ON the door. I kick the door several times to get his attention.
*Voice from inside: "VHAT!? VHAT!?*
*It's me, open up...
*Voice (obviously Furis): "WHO ARE YOU AND VHAT DO YOU VANT VITH ME?"
*(Ok, let's have a little fun here)*
*I shout* "It's Simon Belmont. Please open the door....I'm here to kill you! "
*We hear a lot of rustling inside followed by sounds of panic. Furniture is knocked over as we hear Furis running through the apartment while loudly and frantically swearing *
Furis: "I...I'm not here!"
*"Relax...it's just me...your friendly NDP narrator who is here to apparently interview you...rather then JUST narrate." Why NDP doesn't have the budget to hire an EXTRA man for these missions is beyond me..."
*The door is finally opened and a sweat-drenched Furis greets us and welcomes us in....nope...you thought it would be THAT easy? Here's what REALLY happened. Furis peered through the eye hole in his door...made me SWEAR upon the "mortal constitution" (the hell?) that I was not Simon Belmont or affiliated with any of the Belmont family. Then he unlocked his chain lock, opened the door a tiny bit and demanded that I show ID. When he was confident that I was who I say I was (and why he didn't recognize my voice or appearance is beyond me), he FINALLY let me in.
Oh, the part about the "sweat drenched Furis"...THAT was true. Which means he must have worked up QUITE a sweat as he was running frantically. How frantic WAS his running? Well, consider this..."*
*Um...why is your room FREEZING?*
Furis: "Yes, yes...my heater is not vorking and the super von't veturn my calls!"
*There ya go! That was some frantic running!*
Furis: "Now...vhat is it you vant? You come cause of NDP?"
*Yep...said that about 5 times already...then showed you my ID. Vant a blood sample...oh sh...*
Furis: "YES! YES! That vould be excellent!"
*Forget it...now just listen. NDP sent me to talk to you about what happened at HaLAWLoween.*
Furis: "Forget that! I am DONE with LAWL"
*Actually...LAWL is done with YOU. They contacted NDP main offices to say that you will NOT be invited back anytime soon. In fact, in order to give the LAWLiday 2006 Main Event of Jo Ryder vs. OMG Champion Ruby Moreno the respect it deserves, you and the Gooses are BANNED from the next show.*
Furis: "Yes, yes, fine, fine. I do not vant to talk about LAWL, I said that alveady! FORGET HaLAWLoween and let us talk about my upcoming match at Tribulation instead!"
*Well, they ARE kind of related.*
Furis: "How so? One is LAWL and other is NDP!"
*After NDP officials watched your "performance" during your match at HaLAWLoween, they started having doubts that you deserve a debut match at the Tribulation super card They do not think that you can display the high level of skill and competitiveness that an NDP wrestler is supposed to show. They think you have innate skills but that you have NO idea what is going on inside the ring or what you are supposed to do! Frankly, you SUCK in that ring...and not in the good "vampire" way."
Furis: "VIDICULOUS! Do not base my abilities on my loss at HaLAWLoween! It vas not legit!! Did you not SEE that vile voman interfere and cost me da match?"
*I stop...deep in thought...i just have to tell him, it's the only way I can make my point.*
*That voman is Sandy Morton. So I want you to consider what I am about to say: Congratulations.
Furis: "Vhat? VHY?"
*You are now the ONLY person that Sandy Morton has EVER one-upped: In life and in the wrestling ring. Sandy Morton has NEVER been successful in anything relating to professional wrestling. That is, of course, until fate put her on the team of your Devil Goose opponent at HaLAWLoween. And THATS when she did something right....when her only opposition was YOU. Don't you SEE!? You let the most dismal, pathetic, loser whore of a woman intentionally and EFFECTIVELY cost you the match....and you couldn't stop her! Congratulations...you are now the most pathetic wrestler on the planet.*
*Furis contemplates this...after a few seconds of "deep thought" (i can hear the bees buzzing in his head), he shows a look of extreme concern. 10% chance he bursts into tears and quits NDP...oh PLEASE...*
Furis: "Vhat do I do to vin NDP's support back? I NEED to vestle at Tribulation!"
*Damn...he didn't quit. Oh well, time for my Plan B. I pull a DVD out of my coat pocket.*
Furis: "Vhat is that? It better not be the HaLAWLoween DVD!"
*No, no...this is part of NDP's plan for you. They told me that they would give you ONE chance to prove you belong on the Tribulation card. They actually, to my horror, said they see potential in your physical abilities so they want you to at least TRY to learn about pro wrestling. If you make the effort to learn, then you can still have the match. And if you impress them enough in that match...*
Furis: "Vait...Vhat KIND of effort to learn? How vill I do that?"
*They left THAT part up to me. They told me to put together a "training regimen" for you. Now, since I am not a pro wrestler...in fact I shouldn't even be TALKING to you since I'm just the narrator.... I can't actually TRAIN you. But I can do the next best thing...give you a DVD that features the BEST wrestlers in the HISTORY of professional wrestling! Why learn by doing when you can learn by watching!?"
Furis: "Vonderful! I vill learn from them! Who is on that D-V-D?"
*I show him the DVD and his eyes light up*
Furis: "I have never heard of them before but they are BIG men!! They look very powerful!"
*You got that right! These men are the best EVER. Men like The Great Khali, Chris Masters, El Gigante!"
Furis: "They look UNTOUCHABLE in that ring! Everybody must fear these varriors!! Even the fans!"
*Oh we do, how we ever DO fear them!! Also, since pro wrestling is more then just what happens IN the ring, there are sections about how to improve your schtick! Such as "How to make an Grand Entrance" hosted by the Shockmaster!" Or "How to cut a great promo" hosted by Randy Orton! And what is SURE to be your favorite - "How to do stupid spooky shit" hosted by Papa Shango!"*
Furis: "Now I can be the best vestler ever thanks to these men!"
*How true it is!! If fact, a winnar will be you!"
Furis: "A VINNAR IS ME!"
*I muffle my laughter. Jim from NDP accounting said he'd pay me $50 if I could get Furis to say that!*
*Now...there is something else. As I said, NDP is willing to give you the match if you promise to attempt "my training program." But that will only get you TO the match. Once you are at Tribulation, you have to impress them with your newfound skills. If you still wrestle below the level they want for NDP, then I can't guarantee that they will extend your contract for any more matches.*
Furis: "I am not vorried! I vill use the speed of *looks at DVD* "The Great Khali* to vestle circles around my Tribulation opponent! I vill use the cunning of *looks at DVD again* Vandy Orton to play trick on my opponent...
*Stop right there before you get banned from the NDP locker room.*
Furis: "Fine, fine."
*Well, it looks like you have your "vork" cut out for you. My job is done and I'm getting the hell out of here. Good luck at Tribulation, Furis. And be sure to check out the "DVD extras section" to watch a special "seminar" on "Mat wrestling and the art of pinning" hosted by the Berzerker!*
*I leave the room as Furis is smiling widely. I run down the hall and the staircase as fast as I can. When I'm finally outside, I allow myself to burst out in laughter. I can't wait to see this guy's debut match...this oughta teach NDP for sending me on these damn missions! Oh shit, I said that out loud!*
----------------------------------(mystical line of RP beginnings)-------------------------------
*Sigh* Here we go again...I've been sent by NDP to talk with Jakob Furis regarding his previous LAWL match and upcoming NDP match. Per my assignmemt, I have to go ALL the way to NYC and enter his hovel of an apartment building. As expected, there is a strange smell in the hallway as I approach his door...accompanied by strange "symbols" ON the door. I kick the door several times to get his attention.
*Voice from inside: "VHAT!? VHAT!?*
*It's me, open up...
*Voice (obviously Furis): "WHO ARE YOU AND VHAT DO YOU VANT VITH ME?"
*(Ok, let's have a little fun here)*
*I shout* "It's Simon Belmont. Please open the door....I'm here to kill you! "
*We hear a lot of rustling inside followed by sounds of panic. Furniture is knocked over as we hear Furis running through the apartment while loudly and frantically swearing *
Furis: "I...I'm not here!"
*"Relax...it's just me...your friendly NDP narrator who is here to apparently interview you...rather then JUST narrate." Why NDP doesn't have the budget to hire an EXTRA man for these missions is beyond me..."
*The door is finally opened and a sweat-drenched Furis greets us and welcomes us in....nope...you thought it would be THAT easy? Here's what REALLY happened. Furis peered through the eye hole in his door...made me SWEAR upon the "mortal constitution" (the hell?) that I was not Simon Belmont or affiliated with any of the Belmont family. Then he unlocked his chain lock, opened the door a tiny bit and demanded that I show ID. When he was confident that I was who I say I was (and why he didn't recognize my voice or appearance is beyond me), he FINALLY let me in.
Oh, the part about the "sweat drenched Furis"...THAT was true. Which means he must have worked up QUITE a sweat as he was running frantically. How frantic WAS his running? Well, consider this..."*
*Um...why is your room FREEZING?*
Furis: "Yes, yes...my heater is not vorking and the super von't veturn my calls!"
*There ya go! That was some frantic running!*
Furis: "Now...vhat is it you vant? You come cause of NDP?"
*Yep...said that about 5 times already...then showed you my ID. Vant a blood sample...oh sh...*
Furis: "YES! YES! That vould be excellent!"
*Forget it...now just listen. NDP sent me to talk to you about what happened at HaLAWLoween.*
Furis: "Forget that! I am DONE with LAWL"
*Actually...LAWL is done with YOU. They contacted NDP main offices to say that you will NOT be invited back anytime soon. In fact, in order to give the LAWLiday 2006 Main Event of Jo Ryder vs. OMG Champion Ruby Moreno the respect it deserves, you and the Gooses are BANNED from the next show.*
Furis: "Yes, yes, fine, fine. I do not vant to talk about LAWL, I said that alveady! FORGET HaLAWLoween and let us talk about my upcoming match at Tribulation instead!"
*Well, they ARE kind of related.*
Furis: "How so? One is LAWL and other is NDP!"
*After NDP officials watched your "performance" during your match at HaLAWLoween, they started having doubts that you deserve a debut match at the Tribulation super card They do not think that you can display the high level of skill and competitiveness that an NDP wrestler is supposed to show. They think you have innate skills but that you have NO idea what is going on inside the ring or what you are supposed to do! Frankly, you SUCK in that ring...and not in the good "vampire" way."
Furis: "VIDICULOUS! Do not base my abilities on my loss at HaLAWLoween! It vas not legit!! Did you not SEE that vile voman interfere and cost me da match?"
*I stop...deep in thought...i just have to tell him, it's the only way I can make my point.*
*That voman is Sandy Morton. So I want you to consider what I am about to say: Congratulations.
Furis: "Vhat? VHY?"
*You are now the ONLY person that Sandy Morton has EVER one-upped: In life and in the wrestling ring. Sandy Morton has NEVER been successful in anything relating to professional wrestling. That is, of course, until fate put her on the team of your Devil Goose opponent at HaLAWLoween. And THATS when she did something right....when her only opposition was YOU. Don't you SEE!? You let the most dismal, pathetic, loser whore of a woman intentionally and EFFECTIVELY cost you the match....and you couldn't stop her! Congratulations...you are now the most pathetic wrestler on the planet.*
*Furis contemplates this...after a few seconds of "deep thought" (i can hear the bees buzzing in his head), he shows a look of extreme concern. 10% chance he bursts into tears and quits NDP...oh PLEASE...*
Furis: "Vhat do I do to vin NDP's support back? I NEED to vestle at Tribulation!"
*Damn...he didn't quit. Oh well, time for my Plan B. I pull a DVD out of my coat pocket.*
Furis: "Vhat is that? It better not be the HaLAWLoween DVD!"
*No, no...this is part of NDP's plan for you. They told me that they would give you ONE chance to prove you belong on the Tribulation card. They actually, to my horror, said they see potential in your physical abilities so they want you to at least TRY to learn about pro wrestling. If you make the effort to learn, then you can still have the match. And if you impress them enough in that match...*
Furis: "Vait...Vhat KIND of effort to learn? How vill I do that?"
*They left THAT part up to me. They told me to put together a "training regimen" for you. Now, since I am not a pro wrestler...in fact I shouldn't even be TALKING to you since I'm just the narrator.... I can't actually TRAIN you. But I can do the next best thing...give you a DVD that features the BEST wrestlers in the HISTORY of professional wrestling! Why learn by doing when you can learn by watching!?"
Furis: "Vonderful! I vill learn from them! Who is on that D-V-D?"
*I show him the DVD and his eyes light up*
Furis: "I have never heard of them before but they are BIG men!! They look very powerful!"
*You got that right! These men are the best EVER. Men like The Great Khali, Chris Masters, El Gigante!"
Furis: "They look UNTOUCHABLE in that ring! Everybody must fear these varriors!! Even the fans!"
*Oh we do, how we ever DO fear them!! Also, since pro wrestling is more then just what happens IN the ring, there are sections about how to improve your schtick! Such as "How to make an Grand Entrance" hosted by the Shockmaster!" Or "How to cut a great promo" hosted by Randy Orton! And what is SURE to be your favorite - "How to do stupid spooky shit" hosted by Papa Shango!"*
Furis: "Now I can be the best vestler ever thanks to these men!"
*How true it is!! If fact, a winnar will be you!"
Furis: "A VINNAR IS ME!"
*I muffle my laughter. Jim from NDP accounting said he'd pay me $50 if I could get Furis to say that!*
*Now...there is something else. As I said, NDP is willing to give you the match if you promise to attempt "my training program." But that will only get you TO the match. Once you are at Tribulation, you have to impress them with your newfound skills. If you still wrestle below the level they want for NDP, then I can't guarantee that they will extend your contract for any more matches.*
Furis: "I am not vorried! I vill use the speed of *looks at DVD* "The Great Khali* to vestle circles around my Tribulation opponent! I vill use the cunning of *looks at DVD again* Vandy Orton to play trick on my opponent...
*Stop right there before you get banned from the NDP locker room.*
Furis: "Fine, fine."
*Well, it looks like you have your "vork" cut out for you. My job is done and I'm getting the hell out of here. Good luck at Tribulation, Furis. And be sure to check out the "DVD extras section" to watch a special "seminar" on "Mat wrestling and the art of pinning" hosted by the Berzerker!*
*I leave the room as Furis is smiling widely. I run down the hall and the staircase as fast as I can. When I'm finally outside, I allow myself to burst out in laughter. I can't wait to see this guy's debut match...this oughta teach NDP for sending me on these damn missions! Oh shit, I said that out loud!*