Post by motosada on Aug 2, 2009 15:29:42 GMT -5
[Miles:] Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Nameless Municipal Arena in summery Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Now, it's been a really rough time since we last joined you here on NDP TV, with a bunch of profoundly sad events having taken place, so we're gonna forgo the usual opening segment here, and just head right to the wrestling! Cuz that's why you're here! Wrestling! Not descriptions of fireworks!
[Jr.:] I'm here fo--
[Miles:] Nope! Wrestling!
[Jr.:] Well, shouldn't we at least mention the tour?
[Miles:] Oh! Right! Well, around the beginning of the year, NDP had a little tour of shows to kick 2009 off! We had some great matches, from Gene Starr and Mr. E dang near killing each other, NDP Champion Colleen facing both of her Ascension opponents in singles matches - and coming out on top - plus another brutal match featuring Mr. E, to some great Light-Heavyweight Division action, and some awesome surprises, including the crowning of a new Light-Heavyweight Champion; Kazen!
[Jr.:] You wanna talk about a "dark horse"? Kazen's one of those guys who, you see him in action and you think, "this guy's got it". He's got the skill, he's got the talent, he's got a great mind for the sport, but you know, you don't think he's got it all together. We know from the past that he's a bit off-center, but what I mean is, you get the impression that he might not be ready for the big show. But, man, he proved that wrong on this tour.
[Miles:] Kazen blew us all away when he finally dethroned 50CENTAVOS for the Light-Heavyweight Championship, especially considering that FIDDY had won that title almost three years ago - the longest Championship reign in NDP history! FIDDY had defended the Championship against some tough competition, but in the end, the quiet kid who's just there to wrestle and not be all about bravado, he's the one that wins in the end.
[Jr.:] And as if that's not enough, Kazen went on to defend that Championship twice during the remainder of the tour, against OG-Joshi World Champion Holly Walker, and then a rematch against 50CENTAVOS, that saw Kazen really cement his claim as Champion.
[Miles:] And the toughest is in front of the young man. The previous Light-Heavyweight Champions have set the bar pretty high, so Kazen's going to have to keep his head level if he wants to live up to that reputation. Now, can we get to the wrestling?
[Jr.:] Sure! And it just so happens, the new Light-Heavyweight Champion is in action for our opening match!
<<Singles Match>>
Light-Heavyweight Champion Kazen (w/ Tani)vs.
"Silver Scourge" Ryan Ramirez (w/ Erica Belleza)
[Referee:] Joe Brown
This match was already planned before Kazen and Tani made a daring save last Maelstrom, coming to Mr. E's aid when he was once again being assaulted by ARMADA - those events just made the match much more interesting. Add to that the Sin-Bound's victory over Akira Blaze and Princess Aika, with Kazen getting the winning pinfall, and then Kazen's win (and successful defenses of) the Light-Heavyweight Championship, and Kazen had all kinds of crazy momentum to help him steamroll right over Ryan Ramirez. And he would've too, if not for the other members of ARMADA, leader Adam Galcian and Ivan Vigoro, deciding to come down and start trouble. A big brawl erupted, and the referee called this one on DQ.
Kazen wins by Disqualification
Time: 2:14
But the end of the match wasn't an end to the mayhem. The two Sin-Bound did their best to fend off the attacking ARMADA, but they could only last so long before the numbers game became too much. But this show, it was Mr. E to the rescue, chair in hand, smashing Ramirez out of the sky as the Silver Scourge tried to cut Mr. E off with a suicide dive (which, really, was an apt name for it in this case - Ramirez collided with a swinging chair and just fell into a heap of himself). Mr. E took to the ring and clobbered Galcian and Vigoro with some heavy chair shots and then some heavy lariats, before sending Vigoro packing with the Phenomenal Mystery. ARMADA gathered back up on the outside, preparing to re-enter the ring and start the assault again, but Tani grabbed a mic and stopped them in their tracks.
[Tani:] Oh, that is it! I have had it with you cowards! This is what we're gonna do! At Ascension, an eight-person tag match! You four versus the three of us, and a fourth partner of our choosing. And if we can't find one, then I guess we'll have a four-on-three handicap match, won't we? What do you say?
ARMADA doesn't even need a microphone to answer back, as they all seem to be in agreement.
[Tani:] GOOD! Bring your "A"-game, losers! Try not to embarrass yourselves like you have been in UBL, would ya?!
Galcian and Ramirez didn't seem to appreciate that too much, but Erica Belleza manages to reign them in before things get out of hand. "We'll get 'em, no problem," she says to them, trying to calm them down and get them out of the arena.
-- Commercial break --
New Damage Prowrestling Outbreak is brought to you by Disgaea DS, dood!
-- Back from Commercial --
[Miles:] We're back, and we're about to witness another chapter in the long, bizarre tale of Roselyn Pride and Trent "Trauma" Kasta.
[Jr.:] At the last Maelstrom, Roselyn Pride basically demanded that she and Trent Kasta be allowed to participate in tag matches. We're not really sure what's up with that, but then... we're never really sure what's up when Roselyn Pride is involved.
[Miles:] Some people are just... different, I guess.
[Jr.:] Yeah. And they don't come much different than Roselyn "drop me on my head, put me in the hospital for a month, and I'll become totally infatuated with you to the point of abduction and dressing you up in a bear costume" Pride.
[Miles:] Well said.
[Jr.:] And here they come now.
HELLFIRE plays over the PA, bringing Roselyn Pride out, with a man in a giant bear costume comes along with her, whom we can easily assume is Trent Kasta. A very reluctant Trent Kasta, at that. Roselyn pulls the giant Traumy Bear along with her, all smiles, and the two wait for their opponents. Their stupid, tripped-out raver opponents, who are booed the second Sandstorm hits the PA. Guess there's not a lot of Darude fans in attendance. The three ravers make their way down the aisle, ignoring the booing/indifferent crowd, and taking their sweet ass time at that. Must be something in the water.
<<Tag Team Match>>
"Mistress" Roselyn Pride
and
Trent "Trauma" Kasta (in a bear costume)
vs.
Midnite Rave
Special K and Pixi Stik (w/ E-Rol)
[Referee:] Chris Speil
After the bell rings, the mood changes, and Roselyn shows why she's one of the most dangerous wrestlers in NDP. She started off with a couple slaps to Pixi Stik, before whipping the girl to the ropes and throwing her overhead with a big belly-to-belly suplex. Roselyn starts stomping away at Pixi, before pulling the raver to her feet and knocking her down with a spinning backfist. Roselyn starts choking Pixi, and the referee has to pull her off, giving Pixi time to tag out to Special K.
Special K doesn't fare much better against Roselyn, as he's greeted with a punch square in the nose. Special K reels back, holding his nose, and Roselyn tags out to Trent.
Trent enters the ring, and Special K (still holding his nose) takes just a second to register what he's seeing - a man dressed up in a big bear costume - and starts laughing hysterically. Trent doesn't seem to appreciate this, so he just walks up to Special K and punches him in the face again! Special K falls back, yells "what the hell?!" at Kasta, and approaches again, just to get punched in the face for a third time! Kasta doesn't wait for Special K to open himself up for another attack, and charges Special K, taking him down to the ground and having a perfect front mount position, and Kasta starts raining blowns down on Special K. The referee has to once again interfere, pulling Trent Kasta off of Special K. Special K tries to get to his corner to tag in Pixi, but Trent charges the corner and knocks Pixi down before kicking Special K in the head. Trent pulls Special K up, whips him to the ropes, and Trent takes to the ropes himself, not noticing when Roselyn tags herself in as he bounces off the ropes to damn near take Special K's head off with a Western Lariat. Roselyn charges in, grabbing Special K up and locking in the Summon Suffering [Cobra Hold]! Special K is out! The ref is calling for the bell!
Roselyn Pride wins by referee stoppage
Time: 4:34
Roselyn latches off of Special K, and starts celebrating with Trent. She hugs the big bear, and then starts dragging him back up to the ring toward the entryway as the Midnite Rave group slowly starts recovering from getting beat down.
[Miles:] And there we have the, uh... happy couple, celebrating victory.
[Jr.:] Yanno, I've heard of some weird mating rituals on that Discovery Channel, but... well, I think this tops 'em.
[Miles:] I'll say.
-- Commercial break --
New Damage Prowrestling is proudly brought to you by MADWORLD. Come hack with Jack!
-- Back from Commercial --
[Miles:] Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. We've just got word from the crazies that run the show that a match demanded earlier has been made for Ascension, and that's ARMADA vs. the Sin-Bound, Mr. E, and maybe a fourth mystery partner.
[Jr.:] Doesn't really roll off the tongue, does it?
[Miles:] Not really.
Flyleaf's Justice and Mercy starts playing in the background and Ascension graphics start showing on the screen.
[Miles:] And that match is made in addition to the newly-forged alliance of Princess Aika and Akira Blaze facing off against former NDP Light-Heavyweight Champion 50CENTAVOS and his running buddy Toby Yoyo.
[Jr.:] Plus a match that's sure to be brutal in every way of the word; MDWF Champion and UBL NEXUS Champion Gene Starr vs. "The Man" Chapel Hillcrest.
[Miles:] Those two wanna go on-and-on about problems, well, hopefully they won't have a problem beating the hell out of each other for our personal amusement.
[Jr.:] Got that right, brother!
[Miles:] Another match that should make a lot of people happy is Evan Divine in a rematch against Jakob Furis, the "vampire" that Divine defeated to secure his NDP contract to begin with, just months ago at Tribulation. Since Tribulation, however, there's been a bit of a change in Jakob Furis, however. Will this lead to a change in Furis' luck? We'll see during this Tribulation re-match.
[Jr.:] Lordy, Tribulation was a great show, wasn't it?
[Miles:] It was, except for one black spot on the show. Or, I guess, green spot.
[Jr.:] Well, hopefully by the end of Ascension, that green spot will be a distant memory as Holly Walker takes on Kaori NiGHT, in a 15-foot-tall steel cage!
[Miles:] We can only hope. And that's all before our main event, as NDP Champion "The Living Venus" Colleen takes on Jason Wesley, and the former NDP Champion, Matt Shane, with the NDP Championship on the line!
[Jr.:] Should be a classic.
Justice and Mercy fades out, replaced by Sevendust's Broken Down hits the PA for not the first time tonight. The Sin-Bound, Tani and the NEW Light-Heavyweight Champion, Kazen, make their way back out to the ring, and they're both scanning the area to make sure that their newly-announced Ascension opponents, ARMADA, aren't hiding for them. Kazen stands outside the ring as Paradigm makes his entrance, and the match is gettin' ready to get!
<<Singles Match>>
Tani (w/ Kazen)
vs.
Paradigm
[Referee:] Joe Brown
Tani and Paradigm had just, an awesome match here. They started a bit slow, but things built quickly, and it wasn't long before bodies were flying all around. Tani certainly gave Paradigm a run for his money, using her speed and strikes to stop Paradigm from getting close enough to apply any of his trademark submissions, but the gameplan started to backfire on Tani when she realized that she just wasn't doing as much damage as she should be and needed to take the risk of getting in close. It started to work to Tani's benefit, and she was utilizing a variety of suplexes to keep Paradigm down, but it wasn't long before Paradigm managed to get Tani in a front choke or a sleeper hold, wearing down the waif-like Tani. A big powerbomb from Paradigm nearly caught Tani up, but Tani returned the favor with a Bisontennial, almost picking up the win herself. A HUGE flying elbow from Tani was narrowly avoided by Paradigm (Tani must've got almost 16 feet into the air!), and Paradigm collected the young lady to deliver his Cradle Piledriver to get the win.
Paradigm wins by pinfall
Time: 15:39
Kazen enters the ring, but it's not because of Paradigm - he's just trying to get out of Dodge before ARMADA shows up and makes things worse. It proves to be a smart move, as Ryan Ramirez suddenly pops out of the crowd and has slid into the ring, seemly charging after Kazen and Tani as they leave the ring. Kazen and Tani are long gone, though, and Ramirez finds himself in the ring with Paradigm still, and Paradigm doesn't take too kindly to Ramirez' shenanigans, and he gives Ramirez a kick to the gut and follows that up with a CRUSHING Cradle Piledriver! Paradigm got some ups on that one, and Ramirez bounced so high, he nearly landed back on his feet on the way down! That was sick! Paradigm takes a look at the downed Ramirez, and then looks up the ramp toward Kazen and Tani, and he points at Kazen before motioning around his waist!
[Miles:] What a sick display Paradigm just put on there, for the NDP Light-Heavyweight Champion! As if Kazen didn't have to worry enough about ARMADA, he's got that Champion's Bullseye to worry about, too! Paradigm has just made it clear that he's gunning for Kazen, after putting down both Kazen's own partner, and one of their opponents, with that Cradle Piledriver!
[Jr.:] That's the curse of being a Champion; you're on top of the world, but it's only the best vantage point you can get to look down and see everyone waiting to come and knock you down!
-- Commercial break --
Tentacle Grape Soda!
The official soft drink of New Damage Prowrestling!
You gonna get graped!
-- Back from commercial --
As 50CENTAVOS comes down to the ring without the Light-Heavyweight Championship for the first time ever (that wasn't on a house show), the crowd rips into him, giving him a chorus of boos - which is normal, but he usually has that Light-Heavyweight Championship to help him deflect some of the Hatorade, but the man just looks devastated. Mopey, even. He's subdued, and just not his usual, flamboyant self. Even as he waits for his opponents, the Flash Senshi team of The Charcoal Lady and Tuxedo Kazen, he just doesn't seem to be in the proper mindset.
<<Tag Team Match>>
GAMBERO UNIT
50CENTAVOS and Toby Yoyo
vs.
The Charcoal Lady and Tuxedo Kazen
[Referee:] Frederick Awale
Let's just get one thing straight; The Charcoal Lady does not like 50CENTAVOS. Like, at all. Not even a little. All night, she took every opportunity to disrespect FIDDY, slapping him open-handed every opportunity she got, kicking him while he's down - all of it. The Flash Senshi tried to use frequent tags to make sure they wouldn't get overwhelmed by the combination of the Light-Heavyweight Champion and his super big-man Toby Yoyo, but The Charcoal Lady's absolute hatred of FIDDY combined with the wiles of 50CENTAVOS and Toby made this difficult. G-UNIT tried to isolate The Charcoal Lady at one point in the match, but, she just wildly slapped the shit out of both men long enough to get the tag into Tuxedo Kazen, who blasted both men with lariats and dropkicks before Toby crushed him with a lariat. G-UNIT really had fun beating the tar out of Tuxedo Kazen, even letting him get close to the corner to tag out to The Charcoal Lady, only to grab him by his hair or his mask to yank him back toward their corner. In the end, however, it was Toby Yoyo's suplex chokeslam that weakened Tuxedo Kazen up enough for 50CENTAVOS' Concussion King Kick to put the Flash Senshi away.
50CENTAVOS wins by pinfall
Time: 22:08
As his hand is raised in victory, and he seems to have gotten a bit of his swagger back, 50CENTAVOS looks up the entrance ramp and sees Princess Aika and Akira Blaze standing at the entryway. FIDDY, Toby Yoyo, and the ladies just stare each other down.
© 2009, New Damage Prowrestling